Living Life To Its Fullest
by seddiefan2009
Summary: The problem is that not every moment needs to be lived to the fullest. Some moments just need to be enjoyed, held onto and let go of. Cam.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Why is it that we all waste time? Every drama on television has an episode about some character or another deciding that they spend too much time working and not enough living. We all have that moment, the one where you realize that you only have so much time and you've already wasted too much of it. That moment when you promise yourself that you're going to stop. That you'll cherish each moment. That you'll live every moment to the fullest.

The problem with that is that not every moment needs to be lived to the fullest. Some moments just need to be enjoyed, held onto and let go of. There are days that we all live through that will be forgotten and unimportant when we grow old. The goal is to be able to look back on our lives and remember more than we forget. To remember more good than bad.

And Carly thought with a smile, that she had accomplished that. She had friends, family, a life that she could be proud of. So as the blood gushed from her thigh she didn't feel pain, didn't feel that her life had been cut short. So what, she only lived seventeen short years. They were seventeen good years. Seventeen years she could be proud to have lived.

She didn't feel the cold of the hard floor she laid upon, nor could she understand Sam's frantic screams. All she could see was the formation of a tunnel as the blackness took over her line of vision. Straight ahead was a gleaming white light that seemed to call to her. She was entranced as she moved toward it, mesmerized by the way it sparkled. Like a lake of diamonds. She reached her hand out to touch, to feel its glorious beauty.

Just as her hand was about to dip in she felt it. Like a blanket the warmth surrounded her and at first she thought it to be the warmth of the light. Until she felt its pull. The warmth pulled her back. Back into the dark abyss.

She started to fight it, wanting to feel the light, knowing that she was ready to die. She had had seventeen good years, she didn't need any more.

As she was pulled, rather forcibly into the abyss things came into focus. Her lifeless body was laying in the middle of the store, blood pooling beneath her. Her face was peaceful, serene even. Sam was laying over her body, clinging for dear life. Sobbing incoherently.

Sam was covered in blood, it seeped through her blonde hair and Carly idly wondered if it would ever come out.

She was oddly numb and as she watched her best friend cry she realized that she hadn't felt anything since the moment before the bullet hit. The longer she watched the tighter the warmth surrounded her. She felt oddly like she was being suffocated as it wrapped around her tightly, penetrating her bones.

At first it was almost comforting, but suddenly she felt as though she was being choked. The pain was searing as it engulfed her entire body, crushing her chest and stabbing every surface it could find.

The harder Sam cried the hotter the warmth felt around her. She just wanted it to stop.

She reached a hand down to touch Sam's shoulder, hoping to soothe her. Her hand went straight through, going back into her own body.

As she looked up at Sam's tear stained face she felt the bullet, the wound, the cold as more and more blood left her body. But she found that it was nothing compared to the pain the warmth had forced upon her. The warmth detangled itself from her battered body and the cold invaded quickly.

She felt what warmth she had left leave as Sam was pulled rather forcibly from her.

She was numb as some strange sort of tube was forced down her throat. Though, she found it a welcome relief as oxygen reached her lungs more easily than it had been. Her vision began to get fuzzy as she stared on, looking for Sam. The further away Sam went, the fuzzier her vision was. Until she could no longer see Sam and everything went black.

…break…

The first thing she felt was the tube in her throat. The second was the searing pain throughout her body. Her eyelids felt heavy as bricks and she found herself struggling to open them.

There was a warmth on her hand. A pressure that was strong and gentle at the same time. Her head felt like an ocean, raging waves hitting against her temple.

The waves seemed to recede as a soft murmur buzzed around her. She found herself trying to concentrate on the sound. As it grew louder she saw it. The light. Only it wasn't quite as glorious as the last time she'd seen it. It was dim, dingy even. It let off an aura of pain and comfort, twirling and twisting in a whirl of confusion.

The closer she got to it, the more the pain overwhelmed her. The noise grew louder in her ear until it hurt.

She tentatively opened her eye only to shut it again as the light invaded too quickly and caused a scorching pain to go through her head. She felt the pressure on her hand increase and another less forceful pressure move across her forehead.

It felt good, cold, calming. It caused another kind of warmth to take over. A better one. One that she liked. She opened her eyes again in hopes of getting more of that good feeling and found Sam starring into her eyes.

She tried to speak, to tell Sam that it was okay now, but was reminded of the tube in her throat.

Sam's hand moved over her head, brushing away pieces of hair and looking as though she'd been crying for days. Her voice cracked as she said, "I'm so glad you're okay."

Carly stared on until Sam spoke again, "There's a tube in your throat I should go get the doctor to take it out."

As she moved to get the doctor Carly felt the warmth leave again and the coldness set in. She immediately reached her arm out, nearly ripping out the IV as she grabbed for Sam.

Sam put a hand on her arm as she shook her head as fast as she dared trying to communicate that she didn't want her to go.

Sam gave a tearful giggle as she asked, "You don't want me to go? Okay I won't go."

Carly smiled as she realized that this would be one of the moments that needed to be held onto but not lived to the fullest. Because, being here, alive and holding the hand of the person who had brought her back from death was not a moment that needed to be lived to the fullest. It just needed to be cherished until it was over.


End file.
